"To be the One" by IDAHO

There's a genuine pressure on my heart today, like a fucking fat sonofabitch elephant on my chest. So many things cause turbulence, all of them whipping around and around, this cyclonic cylic t-storm in all its gritting teeth and consternation. It starts with no mass at all, just as a shower of particles, ideas, thoughts without grounding in reality or rationality. Actually, scratch that, it all begins with a single thought, one lone individual panic. It hurts a little bit, like a pin prick on my mind but numbed, heavily medicated. Visualizing a subway tunnel, sweaty, mustiness, enormous heat pushing through. The tunnel is like a mouth, entrance to the neck and throat and beating heart and lungs of an old man. This still rank heat is the breath of a giant whose body we are inside of. This initial thought, pushes impulsively through the gates and, rather than just hopping on a train and disappearing into the darkness, it lingers, walks around in circles. It begins to frustrate, to condemn, but it is still alone. Moments pass and another of the morning's itches attacks through turnstiles, bending the metal as he forces his body through. There are two now. Then, a third enters. This one is more attractive, elegant even, a temptation, one that lets her fingers alight on my neck and find their way down to the small of my back. Another body knocks her away violently as I'm beginning to relax in it. She falls to the ground and lies there grinning up, while the fourth punk rocks his way around the place, storming. Now we have a fine chaos, a truly belligerent combination. And each of them seems to spawn another set of circumstances. They interact, the conflict, starting fights with one another, bickering, trying to make plans and finding that they want soemthing different on the same day or the same thing on different days and there's an unknown quantity to it all. There's no way to know just how many of them are stirred up in this shit now. The tunnel is full and hotter now. It stinks of it.

It's hard to think with all this going on. That's all I'm trying to say. I'm just feeling a litle overwhelmed I guess. It will pass.